Sep 29, 2012


Today I am tired. Yesterday I was tired. Tomorrow I will be...tired. Why am I so sleepy? Is it because I'm training for a 5k? umm no. Perhaps I've been working exhausting hours and spending all my free time making homemade Halloween wreaths for the neighborhood? Yeah freaking right. No it is absolutely not of my own doing that I am to the point of collapsing. It is that of the one and only Colton.

A couple nights ago I was awoken at 2 AM by a toddlers cry in my room saying "mama I NEEeeeeeeD water" then an oh so helpful "love nudge" by Brandon (aka him rolling over and saying get the kid some water.) The next night I was snapped back to reality by a toddlers icy cold feet. They just so happened to be karate kicking me in the throat...details details After regaining consciousness, I remembered that I had not put said toddler in our bed. sneaky mcsneakster

The pattern has continued and I'm on the verge of barricading myself in the bathroom and sleeping in the tub. Truth. This morning I woke up in a dino bed all by my lonesome. I vaguely remember a tiny elbow edging me off the bed and then stumbling into the dinoriffic room...Somethings gotta give. This is soooo not gonna fly once I get a solid 8 hours and can think straight!

Sep 25, 2012

Buried alive

I have been a brat lately. When we moved into our house in 2008 it was just us and the dog. Our 3 bedroom 2 bath was HUGE. The 2 guest rooms were hardly ever in use and the carpet in those bedrooms was flawlessly clean.

Now I thank God we have hardwoods or tile throughout the rest of the house. When we had Colton it was an eye opening experience. Not just to the whole being parents thing, but to the amount of stuff a 4lb person could need. It was overwhelming but manageable. No biggie. Then came along Nolan who bless his punkin has all of his brothers baby toys and clothes. Of course Colton has a bunch of big boy toys and clothes in their place. Stuff. Just stuff everywhere.

I have been quick to say were moving. I need a garage and a bonus room or I'm gonna flip yada yada. But honestly, all we would probably do is add more stuff to the extra square footage. Not to mention the outer rim of hell experience selling a house with 2 babies living in it would be. So were gonna tough it out for at least another few years. I don't imagine myself living in this house, as it is, with my husband and 2 giant teenagers...but who knows? Brandon has that whole degree in construction management thing so perhaps we'll add a lovely bonus room. That's all. I'm done. Told you I'm being a brat.

Sep 22, 2012

I say this stuff daily

Today I am going to share with you my words of wisdom I say on a daily basis

Do NOT hurt the baby

What are you eating???

Youre the swedish little baby little chunk a lunk roly poly butterball turkey. yes you are!

We do not waste toilet paper

Did you poop?

booty booty booty booty stinkin everywhere stinkin everywhere (this one is a song)

Hold on Nolan

Hold on Colton


Clean up Clean up

No licking shoes

Ollie Hush!

YOUR eldest son.....

Love you too. Now go say sorry to brother.

They are precious arent they!?! Were so lucky (2 minutes later) My head hurts

Deep stuff folks....

Sep 16, 2012

Look what I can do!

The Truth of Childhood: Climb it if it can be climbed, always run as fast as you can, and anything can be a pirate ship.

Sep 14, 2012

Waitress extraordinaire returns?

I've been spotted. A patients mom gave me the slight stink eye and asked me if I have a sister or a part-time job waiting tables.

errr I did.

Thought so. Then silence....

I can say for certain that she was absolutely not the wackadoo knife lady. But I can't honestly remember if she was one of the 20,000 roll loving ladies or someone I spilled ranch dressing on. I don't think she was the one who left me a note saying I was insensitive for suggesting she leave off the cheese and croutons. She said she was dieting!!! I was just being helpful darn it!

Sep 11, 2012

Preschool-Day 1

Colton was all set to start preschool last Wednesday. His camo book bag was stocked with baby wipes, extra clothes and his favorite toy dinosaur. Too bad on Tuesday morning he got the bubble gut pukey oh so sick virus. It was sad. Oh so sad. Poor little guy was laying in his bed hugging onto his backpack whimpering (school, big boy school...) I'm pretty sure I heard taps playing in the background.

Fast forward to Monday and hes well and ready! Well he was ready until we got to the parking lot. Then of course he changed his mind. Coltons school is really awesome. Its a local church that offers a multitude of ages and stages the preschool amazingness experience. He attended last year on Monday and Wednesday mornings for a grand total of 3 hours per day, 6 hours per week. We decided to stick with the schedule this year. No change change bad

So he did his song and dance on the way in NOOO. No schoolllll. up until we reached the classroom door where he was meet by the new teacher and appropriately changed his tune to nooo new teacher!!! Oh well. When I picked him up he was just fine and had made me not just one but TWO new pictures. It's gonna be a good year.

Sep 10, 2012

Rich kids of Instagram...

Have you seen The rich kids of instagram yet? Take a looksie. It's enough to make you feel just a teensie bit bad about your recent Myrtle Beach vaca...

So I present to you our own Rich Kids of MMTM

just some homegrown veggies #healthy snack #suburban farmer

my daddy bought it for me #private pool #nofloaties

afternoon nappin #dinobed #sleepalldaypartyallnight

our ride #4door #Kia #momchaufferincluded

 bottle poppin #similac #Dr. Browns

#privatejetski #ballin 

Sep 7, 2012

Go. To. Bed.

You've all seen the dino-riffic room. The roaring good time lamp, the stellar stegosaurus nightlight...and of course the big boy t-rex super charged safety gate on the side big boy bed. Did I mention that the bed is a queen size? Umm yes. My 2 year old sleeps in a queen size bed. I thought it was a full. Brandon knew it wasnt. Its a long story, but in the end we were both right. Sort of.

Colton has discovered that, minus a few pillows, his bed is large enough to snugly fit our entire family. My life is now over. Every night that kid is yelling for me to come lay down and rub his back. Bring him some water. Sing the sun go down song!!! Anything to get me into the room so he can catapult himself in a body slam effort to get me to sleep in his ginormous bed. UGHHHH.

Not only will he get you with his just a minute mama trickery...he will climb right out of his bed, open any door or climb over any type of God dont let their be a fire babygate system you can rig. March himself right up to you and promptly demand a back rub in his dino room! No amount of coaxing or timeouts will change his mind. You know that lady at the wal mart who is threatening to beat the hell out of her kid? Yeah you know the one. I used to look at her in disgust and shake my head while silently praying for that poor kids future to be brighter than the state pen...umm yeah. I get it. I will not be pushed to the brink of threatening to beat him. But I get it crazy wal mart mama.

perhaps I should have tried this before disassembling the crib.....


Sep 3, 2012

groovy baby

Brandon & I joined some friends and family at a charity event for The Wounded Warrior Project (click here to learn more) The theme was the 70's

Lots of women in their late fifties early sixties told me they rocked this look to the disco. Including my own grandma (only her fro was blonde). Brandon almost freakishly resembles his dad circa 1976...

Anything for charity folks.