Aug 30, 2012

Honey Boo Boo

OK. So if you have not seen TLCs Toddlers & Tiaras spin off  "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" you my friend are missing out. Seriously. Its funny. The mom is by far the funniest. Some have called her a bad mom yada yada yada. But I really just think she doesn't know any better (she reveals being a teen mom at only 15 and having 2 kids by 17 thus causing her to drop out of school.) The lady really does love her kids.

Favorite quotes thus far:

“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous.” –the mom

“We’re gonna make you a pageant gay pig.” –Alana (the 6 yr old little beauty queen herself)

and my personal favorite....“It’s called a biscuit ‘cause it looks like a biscuit, ya know, when it opens up and…” –the mom giving us an anatomy lesson uh umm...(she even mentions Hardees at one point!)

So if you decide to watch just keep an open mind & see it for what it is. A really funny show that is meant to be just that. 

Aug 27, 2012

My Littles

“Sister. She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.” 
― Barbara Alpert

I have three little sisters. All of which are much younger than me.
Anu is 17, Emi is 16 and Hailey is 8.
According to all of them I am an old lady at 25 who knows nothing of the modern teenage world.
I. Am. Lame. But, they are beautiful so I figured I would share.

“In a way, I was incredibly proud of my sister (not that I had any intention of letting it show while I was beating the crap out of her)” 
― Meg Cabot

Aug 24, 2012

public service announcement

PSA for all potential newcomers:

Here in the beautiful state of North Carolina we enjoy a subtropical climate all spring, summer and sometimes well into the fall. Never heard NC called subtropical? Well it is. Feel free to Google you fact checker.

NC is equipped with mountains, the beach and disney world is only an 8 hour drive south. Were in a good spot. Except for one thing. If you've never lived anywhere humid or more specifically in the general area of the southeast. Please do not decide to move out our way in the middle of August.

I don't care that you're from Arizona. I don't care that you spent a year living in the Sahara desert...hunger games style! It gets too hot even for the native North Carolinians to go to the pool this time of year. Therefore, you as a newcomer, will pour sweat just walking from your house to the car. I fear you might not venture outdoors for a couple months after taking your family on a Sunday outdoor picnic at exactly noon. When you do resurface, and you eventually will, equipped with claritin and an inhaler of course. I will be forced to hear you complain in your Massachusetts accent that humidity is just wrong while we get our frizzy manes tamed. Humidity and hair is a whole other issue. I'll just say that unless you believe the bigger the hair the closer to Jesus. You're in for a rough time.

Aug 17, 2012

Talent Corner-Marian Mereba

This is one of my best friends in the world Marian Mereba. Shes genuinely talented and if you google her you will find super sassy pics and some awesome tunes

       Check it out peeps!

Aug 14, 2012

nolan eating cereal

This would be Nolan eating cereal for the 1st time. You may not be able to endure the full minute and a half...but were documenting family memories here people!

I can feel your jealousy. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a husband who will buy them sexy PJ pants like these on a whim...

Aug 13, 2012

animal people

I am not an animal person. I love my dog but I am not quick to "ooh and ahh" over a cute puppy. This doesn't mean I don't like animals. I certainly do like animals, from a distance. While babysitting a friends kids we took a trip to the science center. I wouldnt allow them to visit the petting zoo (they told on me since it was, of course, the only thing they could remember about our trip). You can imagine my reaction to the state fair date Brandon planned in our early dating stage...
Certain people have certain pets or a lack of pets. In my mind this is how I categorize pets and their people:

*Cat people. Sometimes you aren't aware you are in the presence of a cat person, until they corner you for 30 minutes at a party just to show off their 5 cats on instagram. This is a true story. Also, it is a proven fact that felines like fresh meat and are likely to eat you if you die alone in your house with them. Not myth. Fact! I come from a long line of crazy cat ladies so it's inevitable I will accept my fate one of these days...


*Dog people. (obviously the coolest)  I personally have doggie stranger danger and do not approach anything bigger than me that could potentially rip off my face. I think dogs are the most like humans with their different personalities. Some are nice and jolly. Others are bat shit crazy with daddy issues. Dog owners may have other animals, but their dog is the favorite.
*Bonus: all dogs go to heaven.
Horse people are typically dog people too so we'll lump them into the cool category. In 7th grade a horse mistook a girls finger for a carrot and nearly bit it off in front of me. I don't ride horses but I will look at them from afar. aka on the TV.

*People who don't have and/or do not like pets. This includes people who had childhood pets that are now deceased or still live with mom and dad. Those who want a future pet, think domesticating animals is cruel, basically anybody who doesn't take care of another living creature (not including children) in their home. Fish owners are included in this category too. I'm not hating on your goldfish btw I just don't count them in the real pet category, move on. Not tropical fish or multiple fish in an aquarium though (see bird people)

"I think I'll name you Mr. Snuggles!"
*Bird people. Bird people tend to also be lizard/guinea pig/rabbit/expensive fish/pet snake people. You usually have to own some other type of gateway pet before jumping into the bird category.
Brandon had a pet lizard before we moved in together. I gave it to a 6 yr old boy for his birthday while he was at work.

*Spider and exotic bug people. Don't get into the van no matter how tasty the candy looks.

Aug 11, 2012

Coltons Big Boy Room

Colton has reached a new milestone. Exactly 48 hours after bragging that he never attempts to climb out of his crib, I heard the familiar thud of his noggin hitting the floor. Its big boy bed time.

I present to you Colton's Dino Kingdom...

Aug 9, 2012

ch-ch-ch-ch changes

I am a waitress extraordinaire no more. I got a really good offer to return to pediatrics for a seasonal flu clinic gig. I don't talk smack about my kiddos so you'll probably never hear mention of the new job, but I'm happy to return to a field that I actually know what I'm doing in...I will cherish my 2.5 months spent serving steak and potatoes to overzealous roll lovers. BTW those jokers are over 300 calories a piece and I personally witnessed one superstar consume TWELVE before her dinner arrived.

I do know someone who would be glad to take your order...

Aug 6, 2012

Talent Corner-Jenny

Today were going to shine a light on a local aspiring artist known only to acrylic enthusiasts as Jenny. She spends her days working at the zoo, but her nights are dedicated to the canvas.

Take a look at some of my personal favorites
The Humpy Owl
Genius! How worldly to create a Quasimodo esque owl . "Oh why could I not be made of stone like thee?"

The Flying Fish
This one is such a whirlwind of color it almost makes me feel drunk with happiness. I wonder if Jenny was feeling the same way when she looked at her finished masterpiece...

The Big Fin That Could
Just look at the painful expression on this majestic creatures face. Jenny surely needs to spend majority of her time at the beach in order to fulfill her lifes dream of saving the sea turtle...and getting a really good tan.

As you can see this budding artist is full of wonderful imaginings and pinot grigio

sidenote: Jenny is my aunt and in no way a budding artistic genious who is passionate about French novels or the sea turtle.

Aug 2, 2012

I'm weird, but you're weirder

Everyone has something odd about them. I have a friend who has to rinse her glass before drinking a cup of water from it. Brandon can't stand certain noises, he says they "make his teeth hurt." A lady I used to work with insisted that things must be filed in front of the tab instead of behind. Certain family members of mine chew on soft straws and tags...children often go through phases where all they'll eat are things that are orange or have ketchup on them. I'm not going to tell you what makes me weird because it's a lot weirder than the things I've already mentioned. Everybody has something odd that bothers them or they have to do, in order to maintain a level of comfort in a chaotic world.

While working the other evening I had an openly super weirdo chic come in apparently just to spread the wackadoo love. She ordered a brownie for dinner, only to tell me when I brought it to her that indeed she does not like brownies. mmmk (Take note: no sane person refuses a brownie.) Then she got very serious and asked if she could keep a steak knife from the table. say whaaa? My initial reaction was to say "yeah, NO you weirdo wackadoo. Why in the world would you want to take that knife if not to commit some hanus crime while NOT eating a brownie???" Instead I pretended it wasn't a big deal and that people ask me all the time if they can remove a potential weapon from the restuarant for free ninety nine. My manager, who I would imagine during his 10 years in restaurant management has seen and heard some pretty out there stuff, shrugged me off saying "eh just give her the knife." mmmk...

My Favorite Brownie "Recipe":

Betty Crockers Brownie Mix

1/2 cup plain low fat yogurt

2 large eggs

1/4 cup water

To prepare mix add 2 eggs, 1/4 cup of water and 1/2 cup of yogurt. NO OIL! Follow baking directions on the box and voila! Low fat delicious brownies that only the weirds will turn down.