Aug 13, 2012

animal people

I am not an animal person. I love my dog but I am not quick to "ooh and ahh" over a cute puppy. This doesn't mean I don't like animals. I certainly do like animals, from a distance. While babysitting a friends kids we took a trip to the science center. I wouldnt allow them to visit the petting zoo (they told on me since it was, of course, the only thing they could remember about our trip). You can imagine my reaction to the state fair date Brandon planned in our early dating stage...
Certain people have certain pets or a lack of pets. In my mind this is how I categorize pets and their people:


*Cat people. Sometimes you aren't aware you are in the presence of a cat person, until they corner you for 30 minutes at a party just to show off their 5 cats on instagram. This is a true story. Also, it is a proven fact that felines like fresh meat and are likely to eat you if you die alone in your house with them. Not myth. Fact! I come from a long line of crazy cat ladies so it's inevitable I will accept my fate one of these days...



(Oliver)

*Dog people. (obviously the coolest)  I personally have doggie stranger danger and do not approach anything bigger than me that could potentially rip off my face. I think dogs are the most like humans with their different personalities. Some are nice and jolly. Others are bat shit crazy with daddy issues. Dog owners may have other animals, but their dog is the favorite.
*Bonus: all dogs go to heaven.
Horse people are typically dog people too so we'll lump them into the cool category. In 7th grade a horse mistook a girls finger for a carrot and nearly bit it off in front of me. I don't ride horses but I will look at them from afar. aka on the TV.


*People who don't have and/or do not like pets. This includes people who had childhood pets that are now deceased or still live with mom and dad. Those who want a future pet, think domesticating animals is cruel, basically anybody who doesn't take care of another living creature (not including children) in their home. Fish owners are included in this category too. I'm not hating on your goldfish btw I just don't count them in the real pet category, move on. Not tropical fish or multiple fish in an aquarium though (see bird people)


"I think I'll name you Mr. Snuggles!"
*Bird people. Bird people tend to also be lizard/guinea pig/rabbit/expensive fish/pet snake people. You usually have to own some other type of gateway pet before jumping into the bird category.
Brandon had a pet lizard before we moved in together. I gave it to a 6 yr old boy for his birthday while he was at work.



*Spider and exotic bug people. Don't get into the van no matter how tasty the candy looks.

3 comments:

  1. I see you labeled this one under "rants". Good idea.

    "Dog owners may have other animals, but their dog is the favorite". Rarely. Cats rule (and you are possibly an adopted freak!).

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  2. All this time I thought he ran away....Any Idea where my life size Poster of Tyler Hansbrough went to? Or my Lamp that looks like a ladies leg? That was a major award!

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tell me i'm not the only one!